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Back to my horrendous day last Friday, here’s the second half of my day.

(Which, now that I’ve had some time, doesn’t seem as awful as I thought it was when it was happening.  I can finally think back to the evening without anger or embarrassment).

Basically, Will and I neglected to realize that we needed a sitter Friday night until Friday morning.  He had an opening night to attend, and I had a work meeting.  I thought, “That’s okay.  I’ll just bring foster toddler with me, and I’ll take the iPad so she can sit quietly in the room and watch cartoons.  It’ll be fine.  Look at me – working mom.  I can do it!”

Everything was going well.  We had arrived early to the meeting to set up.  I got her out of her car seat, put her on my hip, grabbed the three huge bags I had to carry, and shut the car door with my foot.  As soon as I heard the car “beep!” to confirm that the doors were locked, I realized I had put my keys down in the car to get foster toddler out of her car seat, which I never do.  I always put them in my pocket.  Thankfully, I had my cell phone so I called Will to come with the extra key before he went to his show.

My keys to the building were also locked in the car, but there was another group in the building that let me and foster toddler in.  Another group that was set up in the room I had reserved for the meeting.  After a bit of discussion, they were able to move to another space.  Unfortunately, they had food with them, and specifically, they had chocolate wafer cookies.  Foster toddler scarfed down three of them before I had noticed.

About two minutes into the meeting, foster toddler’s sugar rush from the three chocolate wafer cookies kicked into high gear.  She would not sit still.  She quickly learned how to open the door to the Boardroom and would go tearing down the hall in search of the other group, and their damn cookies.

So here I am, “Hi everyone.  Welcome!  I’m glad everyone could make it.  So first I’d like to talk a little about the mentorship prog – I’m sorry.  I’ll be right back.”

Run after toddler, scoop her up, carry her back to the room.

“As I was saying, the mentorship program is brand new this yea – I’m sorry.  One moment.”

Run after toddler, scoop her up, carry her back to the room.

“I would really like to take the opportunity to build the program to suit your needs – stop pressing the speaker phone button – and because this is so new, you get to help me design the – STOP pressing the speaker phone button – structure that the program will – STOP PRESSING THE SPEAKER PHONE BUTTON!”

Continue in this manner for another hour and a half, trying to distract her with the iPad, trying to get her to sit on my lap, trying anything at all to get her to calm down, all the while ignoring the look of pity on the faces of the people attending the meeting.  (Good lord, they must think I’m completely incompetent, as a mother and as a coordinator).  Some try to entertain toddler with various items in their purses (My only saving grace?  There are other mothers in the room – surely they understand, right?)  Eventually, I give foster toddler my purse, and I don’t even remove the tin of Altoids.  She hauls it to the corner of the room and plunks down.  She’s in heaven.  I think she ate seven or eight mints then smushed the rest into the concrete floor and licked them up like she was a puppy.  I did nothing to stop this; I was just glad she was sitting still and being quiet.

I lost track of how many times I nervously laughed and said,”She’s usually much better behaved than this. Ha ha!”

We got home at 8:30 p.m, half an hour after her bedtime, and I put her straight to bed.  She was out like a light.  Then I poured myself a glass of red wine.  I was in bed by 10 p.m.

Finally, the horrendous day was over.